Light Of A Firefly
by MadHatterLilith
Summary: "See, Sesshomaru?" She asked, her eyes shining with happiness, "Aren't the fireflies here beautiful?" He looked at his first love, his friend, and nodded. They'd spent a childhood together before they were married. She was part fox demon and he was a dog demon but their bond was strong and true. Even when she was sent away, to another time, he still waited for his mate, Hotaru.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a Seshomaru/Oc fic. I have so many fics that it's hard to update them all but I've decided to drop one to do this one. Gonna finish at least one before I start another new one after this so...Yeah. **

**The fantastic cover is one edited by not yous truly. I'm married to my work so I'm not anyone's lol But it's my second best ever and I really love it. I used a Rin/Seshomaru pic and erased the back ground so I could put the firely thing behind it then faded the first image a little. The title is in the same color as one of the fireflies. I'm sorry for bragging cause I know i made mistakes on it but I just love it so much!**

**I own nothing except my OC...**

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**Hotaru's POV:**

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I'm not quite sure where to start any of this. It's long, complicated, and a bit hard to keep up with even while you're living it. It goes back a long time but also takes place in present time. My new home is his future and my birthplace is centuries in my past. Five centuries to be exact. Confused yet? Well, so am I.

There are so many places to pick up from and so many to use as a sort of start. Should I start with going back to my roots? Or would it be better to start with my earliest memory?

Anyway, here goes nothing.

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The dreams started the day after I was adopted, I think. There may've been some before that but my memories of anything before my 17th birthday are hazy and faces are blurred so I wouldn't know what I was seeing.

Dad said I was like a gift from Heaven. They'd just lost their daughter a year ago when they found me, hurt, scared and lost. He brought me inside and the light stung my eyes after staying aimlessly through the night. He said I had slashes all over, like someone had tried to cut me and left me to bleed out. I was already healing when he called his wife to look at me.

She made me strip off my odd clothes and let her, a nurse, see my wounds. He calmed me while I hissed and growled like a feral animal as his wife administered first aid. The way his fingers stroked and pulled through my dirty and tangled hair made tears well up in my eyes for some reason. It was a gentle, familiar sort of touch but I couldn't remember why I cried. Maybe I remembered something back then. I doubted I'd really ever know.

He was the first to find my deformity: feline-like ears on my head. I had normal, human ears but I also had a pair of animal ears to heard better. But they were sensitive and I didn't like people messing with them so I jumped when he touched them by accident.

My furry ears confused me but I paid them no mind and neither did my parents. Mom, though at the time I just thought of her as a woman, asked me, "Where are you from? What's the last thing you remember?"

I didn't know what to say or if I could speak so I shook my head. To this day, I don't know if I shook my head to signal that I didn't remember anything or that I didn't want to.

"Sweetie, where are your parents?" I just bawled like a child after hearing the question. "Dearie, where are they? What happened to you?" He was sweet to me and patient while his wife's eyes watched me suspiciously.

"Did they do this to you?" I looked at her, through my tears, in disgust as I shook my head again. "Who did this?"

"They," I hiccuped, "killed Mommy and Daddy! I continued to bawl for the rest of the night until they put me to rest in their daughter's room, wearing clean clothes and new bandages. They checked on me, wiping away the tears I cried in my sleep, and after a few days, I was their second child.

"You were so little and so thin I was afraid of you'd fly away. I just knew we had to take you in. It was like Heaven sent you like a message from our daughter saying sorry for leaving but you needed us more." Dad was a dreamer but Mom was more realistic.

"She needed somebody but it didn't have to be us. It doesn't mean that our Sayako sent her. It just means that she was hurt." She refused to even start to compare me to her lost daughter but I really don't mind. I'm kind of glad really. That when I was, they guessed, 17 years old.

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Sorry, I got off-track. My first dream was less hazy than the ones that followed it. I could hear myself laughing and a boy growling at me. More laughter came from adults watching us as we played, innocently as all children did. My ears were plain to see and I was cherry-cheeked and laughing out of happiness.

"It's your turn, Sesshomaru!" I called out to him. I was happy, an innocent child who wanted nothing but to play with my beloved friend. He ran after my retreating form and wrestled me to the ground and all the while, I was laughing. A small smile tugged on his lips, silver hair, which was barely past his shoulders, made a curtain so the adults couldn't see when he looked at me with a sort of affection in his eyes.

"You're it, Hotaru." He said in a quiet, yet beautiful whisper. I loved this moment, this place, this person…There was nowhere I'd rather be and contentment flooded through me as I watch the young me squirm out of his grip and while he evaded my attacks. I saw my eyes look into his with a warm look of love.

When I woke up, I couldn't remember his face. Only…silver hair, the smell of fresh grass on his clothes, and light golden eyes. I was crying in my sleep, feeling lonely, out of place. I wanted to be there, not here. That's where I belonged.

They taught me everything I needed to know and slowly, I opened up and became less like a wild animal. But the dreams stayed with me, the faces fading from my memory every time I awoke, sad and lonely. After my twenty-first birthday, it got to a point where I couldn't remember them that well at all. Only the same details lingered, like a haunting memory that refused to disappear completely, afraid of death.

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I'd become sort of famous in Tokyo and surrounding areas through the modeling job I got when I was eighteen. They thought that, while it scared me, time's inability to outwardly affect me made me perfect for the job.

"Megumi!" I looked up from my phone and took out my earbuds. "They're ready for you in the makeup station!" I smiled at the man who ran all this way to inform me and got up, pushing my raven black hair over my shoulders and left my phone of the dressing table. I only really used it for an mp3 player so I didn't really care who took it.

The artists at the makeup station were total sweethearts. They fawned over my hair, saying that it only got silkier and more beautiful with time. They said my eyes were as beautiful as the sky. They thought it was odd that I was a dark haired Japanese girl with blue eyes and pale ski that seemed to glow lightly in the dark but they still thought I was a brilliant beauty.

"Like a firefly…" One of them once said and for some reason, tears rolled down my cheeks. I didn't even realize I had started crying until one of them asked me what was wrong.

They worked on me for only ten minutes before removing the apron from over my clothes and sending me out to the photographer. I smiled and posed for them as always, my mind off in another world. I was actually thinking about what my real parents must've been like when they told me I was free to go.

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"Great work as always!" They called out to me as I left. I decided not to bother my manager with asking her to drive me so I walked to my next job instead, blue eyes covered with sunglasses and wearing baggy clothes.

I passed a group of high school girls and froze. One of them was…She smelled wrong, like she had the faintest traces of another world's scent on her. Her friends might not have noticed but my nose was almost impossibly sharp.

I spun around to follow her, calling the studio to cancel my next job. I couldn't let this lead go when that smell was one I remembered from my dreams. She was uneasy and I think she might've noticed me following her but never stopped to confront me.

That's how I found myself in front of the Higurashi shrine, feeling awkward and slightly scared. I was never one for religion, unable to put so much faith in something. Well, unless you considered the dreams something I had faith in. I was convinced they were real and put my faith in them but I was religion free.

Still, I climbed the stairs slowly and hid behind a storeroom. I felt like what I was doing was wrong, I knew that it was, but I couldn't think of another way. I knew I couldn't ask my questions for her aloud and make them clear enough to understand. So I had to watch, to see the truth with my own eyes.

Sometime before nightfall, the girl left the house and went to the old well shed. I watched as she went in but after an hour, I didn't see her leave. Curious beyond belief, I went inside, deciding to just take my chances with asking…

…but she wasn't in there.

I looked down into the well. It was empty, only dirt at the bottom. Some crazy part of my mind said to jump in. That made no sense to me at all but I went ahead and swung my legs over, into the well, while sitting on the old wooden edge. With one deep breath I pushed off the side and fell into the well, expecting to hit the bottom.

But to my surprise, I just kept falling.

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**Feel free to tell me what you think so far. There will be future OOCness but for now you don't have to worry much.**


	2. Chapter 2

**OOCness and stuff. I own nothing. Well, except Hotaru. But I'm not very proud of that so I'll be quiet now. VERY OOC SESSHY!**

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Feeling like vomit might force its way up my throat at any moment, I finally hit the well's dirt bottom. It hurt but I was glad that that sickening ride was finally over.

But the scent in the air caught my attention. It wasn't the best aroma in the world, because a lot of stenches that I will forever refuse to identify, but it was somehow familiar and I couldn't place why. The air smelled, though those previously mentioned stenches were pretty foul, cleaner, untouched by industry. I looked up and the sky was clearer. This wasn't the same place anymore.

For some reason, someone had put a ladder here, like they climbed in and out of this well a lot. But when I looked around, all I saw were remains. Okay, I'll admit, I was freaked out. Really freaked out and super scared, I nudged one with my foot. Thankfully, it didn't move.

It, I realized with a bit of horror, was fresh. Though the flesh that clung to the bones of the body looked rotten, maybe even horribly burned, it was a fresh corpse, maybe only a few hours old. Thankfully, its eyes were closed and I didn't have to see it staring back at me with cold eyes forever filled with pain. My heart throbbed painfully to see this and I even felt a twinge of hate for whoever did this.

I shakily stood up and, without taking my eyes off of the corpse, I started to climb the robe ladder, almost afraid of this brand new place. When I pulled myself to the top, I couldn't fight my twisting insides which were refusing to listen to me and I rushed into the grass to throw up.

The acid burned my throat and brought tears to my eyes. I coughed and heaved but threw up pretty much nothing. That was no surprise as I rarely ate anything before work. As I threw up, my cap fell off my head, my feline-like ears clear to see. At work, I said they were just fake accessories, but I rarely took my hats or hoods off, since they were a bit sensitive and I had the habit of occasionally twitching them without noticing.

Tears were also running down my cheeks as I threw up. I felt sorry for that creature. _It had been killed for crimes against humans_, a part of my mind thought, _but what it is supposed to do when being alive, for a demon, is a pretty much a crime against humans?!_

Demon?

I was confused, not knowing why I thought that at all. Wiping my mouth on my sleeve, I shakily stood up. It would be a life if I said I didn't feel even a tiny bit better after that. At least it was out of my system now and if I threw up again, it'd just be acid.

The wind blew, a gentle breeze, and the smell of smoke caught my attention again. I stumbled to the source, finding a path that led out of the forest and into a small village. People in old clothing glared at me, their eyes staring only at my ears. One person even yelled for their priestess. But when the woman did not come, a man, maybe a farmer hit me over the head and knocked me out.

When I came to, I was extremely angry. I was tied with strong rope and they glared at me out of fear. From somewhere in my throat came a low growl. My nails dug painfully into my palms and as I grew angrier, I felt my body undergoing a change though it was in no way uncomfortable.

I realized I was the wrong shape and the wrong size. From out of nowhere, the mental image of a golden furred fox floated to the top of my mind. As I started to change, becoming smaller, my teeth sharper, and my nails turning into claws, found myself to be small enough to make an escape.

I ran off into a different part of the woods, my tiny heart racing, my mind filled with the thought, _I'm home!_

It was a while before I stopped and saw what had happened to my body. I'd been running on all fours without realizing it. My body was tiny, slender, and covered in golden-brown fur. My hands and feet were paws, with small pointed claws instead of nails. My teeth had become more pointed and when I crossed my eyes, I saw that even my face had changed. I had a pointed jaw, a muzzle, and…whiskers? From the corner of my eye, I saw something move slightly. I turned to pounce on it…but was unsuccessful.

It took me a long while to realize that I was chasing my own tail and when I did figure it out, my face burned with embarrassment. I looked like such a fool. But I was also confused. How had I become this creature? What was there about myself that I couldn't remember?

The voice of a young girl, high pitched and cheery, called out, "Lord Sesshoumaru! I found a fox! It's so cute! Can we eat it?!" I freaked out, turning around, looking for the girl. When my gaze fell on her, it was because she had picked me up, petting me.

_She was quite a beautiful child_, the calm part of my mind that wasn't focused on the being eaten part thought. _She had bright eyes and, though messy and in dire need of a wash, her hair was a lovely raven black like my own. I'm sure she'll grow up to be quite the woman. Her parents must be proud._

I fought to get out of her grasp, even resorting to biting. I felt guilty for biting her hand when she yelped in pain but I was overcome with panic. Her blood tasted awful on my teeth and I wanted to cry. I wanted to go back to being human. I wanted to stop being this frightened little animal!

And all at once, my body underwent a change again. I went back to my original shape, a human girl and tears ran down my cheeks from the pain. Most of it was in my head, a sharp migraine and flashes of faded memories, but my body was also hurting.

Not even realizing my lack of clothes, I curled up in a ball, hurting all through my body. The girl yelled for her friends saying that the fox had become a person. The fallen leaves rustled from footsteps and the smell of the dirt was flooding my nose and-

_In spring, the ground didn't smell as strongly of the hundreds of things buried beneath. Perhaps it was because the fragrance of the flowers overpowered it and the flowers were all you wanted to smell. The ones that grew in their meadow, their playground, were sweet and beautiful. And I named every one of them._

"_See, Sesshoumaru, this one's called Akane, cause it's red!" He nodded and let me continue giving the flowers false names that only the two of us would ever know. I smiled widely at him and put the flower crown I'd been working on his head. "Look, we match now." I pointed at my own head and he suddenly leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips._

"_You're turning just as red as the flowers." My childhood friend teased lightly and I tried to hide my blushing face. We were engaged so I shouldn't have been so bashful but I was still adjusting to the idea of being someone's beloved._

"_It's all your fault," I childishly glared and a sudden roar of laughter reminded the two of us that we had company. I buried my burning face in his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he, just as flustered as I was on the inside, played it cool on the outside._

_Our parents, my mother and father, one a fox demon, one part human but mostly a nearly extinct demon, and his father, a dog demon, had been watching us with grins as they drank under the cherry blossoms. _

"Lord Sesshoumaru, was that fox I found a demon?" The girl asked as I waited for the pain to pass. There was only silence for a moment before something soft and warm covered me like a blanket.

"Hotaru?" I heard a beautiful voice say, sounding like the owner couldn't believe it and the name caused another surge of pain to go through my head. It wasn't my name but it felt so familiar…

_Our wedding was under the moon. Flowers woven into my hair, I smiled bashfully at the man I loved as the fireflies around us glowed, giving us a beautiful show of light. That night was the night I'd never allow myself to forget, the night I felt more in love with him than ever. _

_The next morning, I woke up in his arms and dressed in a beautiful kimono, a gift from my mother. Though I was only a couple hundred years old, I was no longer a child. I was a wife from that day forward. He woke up a while after and we spent the day together, smiling, still adjusting to our new relationship. _

_We were still best friends but now we were also forever bound together. That was somehow hard to wrap my mind around. I prepared dinner for him, slightly proud I could do such a thing for my new husband, though he preferred to use the term mate, out of a dislike for humans. _

_I accidentally cut my finger and from the deep cut, blood rushed forth. He looked at me with worry in his eyes that would not show on his face and I smiled reassuringly, putting my hand on his cheek, forgetting for a moment that I was bleeding. _

_When I did remember, I removed my hand from his left cheek but with my childish impulses kicking in, I decided to draw on his face. Using my own blood, I drew two stripes on his left cheek. Using a fingertip dipped in my own blood, I did it on the other side too. _

"_Now it's obvious," I told him with a smile, trying to cover the fact that I really did it out of childishness, "that you belong with me." I grinned and he kissed me._

"_It was always obvious." He told me, apparently not fooled. "Even to me." My face grew hot again but I stared at him instead of looking away. _

"_I love you." I told him and he smiled in return._

"Hotaru," The person with the beautiful voice said again, "You're just not used to transforming again. Calm down and it'll be easier."

"Lord Sesshoumaru, do you know this woman?" An annoying voice squawked as I tried to calm down like the beautiful voiced man said to.

There was silence for a moment but after a while I steadied my breathing and the pain dissipated. I was even able to change myself back to being clothed. I sat up, slowly blinking as blurs came into focus. A long fur fell off of me as I sat up and I found myself staring at a pair of golden eyes.

"She's my mate." He said and all my lost memories hit me like a train.


	3. Chapter 3

When I say that my lost memories hit me like a train, I mean it. Aside from the quick death you would normally expect from a wreck, it was pretty much the same, just as sudden and painful. Though the cause of the pain was in my head alone, I curled myself up in an attempt to protect myself from the burning pain.

It was horrible, like a white-hot fire was burning through my skull, erasing the life I've lived for so long as Megumi. It felt like this me was going to be burned away leaving a stranger in her place. I didn't want to fade away, let her die like this, when I had to get home _where we spent our days together, our fathers drinking together while my mother rolled her eyes and laughed with them._

_He and his father were dog demons, proud, noble, and loyal. His father wasn't just any dog demon either but the most powerful of them all, earning himself the title of "The Great Dog Demon." I just called him Uncle though and he casually but affectionately called me Little Firefly._

_My father was a fox demon, rumored to be the Great Dog Demon's equal, and some humans, the ones who lived in the villages near my father's forest, worshiped him as a forest god. I thought it was silly at first but then I saw how much my father adored and watched over them. That made me respect my father even more, making me proud to be his only child._

_My mother was a rare sort of demon, one with the ability to see and sometimes, in small ways, manipulate time. She called herself the child of the trees of ages, one of the few left who hadn't fled to another era. Most of my mother's people, a small race to start with, had been hunted down by humans who feared an envied their abilities._

_She feared for me, praying almost every night that I would never inherit her powers, which she ended up using to protect me when those humans discovered my parentage, the about of power that was passed down to me. She sent me away, terrified, and..._

Somebody was sobbing, letting out pained gasps and heavy breaths between sobs. "It hurts, Sesshomaru, it hurts so much...It feels like my brain is burning...I don't want to remember!" I heard her say before I realized that the sobbing girl...was me.

"Jaken, Rin." I heard that silver haired man's voice and I felt the pain in my chest, like all the air was being squeezed from my chest, lessen. I could breathe a little better, but only slightly. The man's companions seemed to get what he wanted them to do because I heard their footsteps as they rushed off to do something.

Another memory flashed before my eyes, sending more unbearable pain through my body, and it got worse and worse as it went on, getting even more vivid.

_My mother was crying, her beautiful black hair clinging to her tear drenched face, as she held me close, not even caring that my blood was getting all over her kimono. We had the same blue eyes, brightened by the tears that shone when she looked at my face, trying to burn my image into her mind._

_"Hotaru, you're going to need to be stronger and braver than ever, okay?" She didn't speak above a whisper, not out of fear of being overheard, but because she couldn't speak any louder with the sobs that she held back choking her. "I'm so sorry but you'll be all alone and you'll probably never be able to come home. We'll leave something to explain everything to Sesshomaru, but you'll never see him agai-" It was then that my younger self, a couple hundred years old despite her appearance, started to become panicked._

_And because the person I had been for so long now, Megumi, was fading away as another girl took her place, I understood why. After spending so much of her life with him, after loving him so deeply for so many years, the idea of being apart was something that wouldn't even happen in her worst nightmares. They loved each other too much...so much that this seemed impossible._

_My eyes were filled with horror, shock, and disbelief, wide and shining in the moonlight. "Mother, what are you talking about? What's going on? Why are you so afraid? Those humans, the ones who despise us, wouldn't be able to hurt us, would they?! Uncle'll protect us! He always does!" My mother looked away, hesitating before telling me what happened, or rather, what was going to happen._

_"Lady Izayoi, The Great Dog Demon's love, has gone into labor with his son. The humans there know that it is the child of a demon just as much as it is the child of a human and seek to kill your father in law, and his newborn child, before harm comes to them. They think that they can keep him from his son, if it is indeed a boy. They know, with him injured as gravely as he is, that not only will he die if and when he goes to his love's side but also that we are at are most vulnerable."_

I_ saw my father laying down barriers to protect us from fellow demons who wanted to claim our territory as their own and it suddenly dawned on me how much suffering I was bringing upon my family by spending those days with the human woman Uncle loved. I had told her everything, not thinking for a moment that anyone may overhear. And now...my mother wanted to send me away, through time itself, to protect me._

_My father was quiet, bright brown eyes watching for any movement in the dark forest, probably thinking that snow would muffle footsteps. It was the most serious I had ever seen him, his graying hair tied from his eyes and blade at his side. I tried to ignore the trembling in his hands as he enveloped us in another barrier of fox fire._

_"You should go with Hotori, Sayuri. You don't have to die here, my lo-" My mother's voice made me jump for it had a much sharper edge to it than before._

_"Don't you dare start on that again, Gin! After spending fifty years trying to get me to notice you and another hundred to get me to forgive you and agree to marry you, are you really going to send me away? Do you think that'll work?! If I'm to die tonight, I will die with the one I love! Understand?! I love you, you fool, so I refuse to leave you!"_

I was almost screaming from the pain by now. It seemed to get worse as I got closer to the climax of the painful recollection.

_My father heard them first, shuffling in the snow and marking the trees, and he looked at my mother and I with deep affection. "I love you as well, Sayuri, and I'll do everything to protect you. Hotaru, my beloved child, I'm sorry but this is goodbye. Please forgive us for this."_

_My mother muttered something under her breath and the air behind me started to shimmer. Terrified, I reached out to my mother with hands soaked with my own blood. I felt a little dizzy when I glanced down and saw the blood stained snow below me. I was losing a lot of blood...My mother gently pushed my hand away and gestured for me to walk through the shimmering air. I stayed in that spot, swaying slightly but she didn't have time to scould me for they had arrived._

_The humans breached the barriers easily, though the fox fire stung them as it rose up to their knees, and two charged at my dad who fended them off with a single blade._

_They had him distracted so there was no way he could protect my mom who was desperately muttering incantations under her breath as she faced them. She'd never believed in carrying weapons because she had never needed them before._

I pleaded aloud, "No, stop, I don't want to remember! Please, please, don't make me remember! I don't want to see it again! Don't make me watch them die, please! They're my parents!" I didn't mean to beg aloud since there was no one who could help but the words came from my mouth anyway.

"Hotaru." That beautiful voice said the name that I was starting to recognize as my own again and I felt myself reach out with one hand. To my surprise, a bigger, warm hand touched mine, holding it tightly and reassuringly. But that couldn't stop the memory from coming back all the same.

_"Stay away from my daughter, you filth!" She screamed when her usual tricks didn't work. My mother backed up, pushing me back as she used herself as a shield. I got closer and closer to the portal she hoped would help me escape._

_I was so numb with terror that I could do no more than stumble as she pushed me back. I couldn't move or push her out of the way when one man's sword came down, dealing a lethal blow. My mother fell back on me and the weight of her body and the weakness of my legs pushed me into the portal._

_The last thing I saw before I was sent into the other time was my father, screaming my mother's name and lowering his defences. His arm barely made a thump as it fell onto the snow covered ground, leaving a bloody stump in its place instead._

"Hotaru." He said again and I almost opened my tightly shut eyes when I felt warm lips being pressed against my forehead. He repeated the name one last time. "Hotaru."

"What, Sesshomaru?" I whispered shakily, still in pain.

"Remember me."

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**Thanks for reading, and I own nothing besides OCs. Sorry this chapter's so weird (or is it just me who thinks that?) but I wrote it on very little sleep. I'd love to hear your feedback!**


	4. Chapter 4

I wasn't sure what to do. I thought of telling him how I had no control over what memories rushed to my mind but instead decided to try on focusing on his voice, the sound of him saying my name echoing through my mind. _Sesshomaru, _I thought over and over, _Sesshomaru._

_My father, Gin, was the one who told me the story when I was young, the day before I met my best friend._

"_The first time I met your mother, the fireflies were shining brightly, the brightest I'd ever seen them, and their light made her shine. She didn't see me at first, mesmerized by the beauty that surrounded her though she was much more lovely. I fell in love almost immediately. She saw me but didn't really care I existed. I tried for so long to get her to like me, even just a little. Then, after fifty years, I pretended to fall for another demon, though the other woman knew it was all a ruse because she herself loved another as well, and Sayuri got so jealous that she tried to kill me with a sharpened fishing rod!"_

_My mother blushed a light pink, trying to deny it. "Gin, that rod was dull! The worst it would've given you would be a bruise! Stop filling your daughter's mind with nonsense!" When she looked away however, my dad shook his head to tell me that he wasn't exaggerating or telling me nonsense._

"_She was mad at me for almost forever before I got her to admit she loved me back. A good five years or so later, we were blessed with a child. I was so proud that I went to find my best friend so we could party to celebrate only to find he was also expecting a child, a son."_

"_He knew right away that it would be a boy." My mother smiled as she continued to mend my favorite kimono. "Couldn't explain just how he knew, he just did. After he saw me all round, he told me that I was going to have a daughter. He was sure of it, swore on his swords. Still hasn't been able to tell me how he knew."_

_My father laughed, "He's always been a little odd. I suppose that was just part of his oddness. Anyway, he and I celebrated almost every night, overjoyed to be fathers. We, your mother and I, decided to name you Hotaru, firefly, in the memory of the night when we met and the day of our marriage. We were in the very spot where we first met when your mother went into labor with you. Luckily, our midwife was with us just in case cause I had no idea what to do. A few moments before we heard your first cries, my friend's, The Great Dog Demon's, companion and cowardly servant informed me that his son had just been born. What was that tiny flee demon's name again? Myoga?" Mother nodded._

"_He freaked out when he realized what was going on but was there to celebrate your birth with us all the same. You were a beautiful baby with pale skin that glowed just like the fireflies that surrounded us...I don't think I've ever seen your father as flustered as he was when he first held you. He was proud too, telling everyone he saw about you for days even if they'd already heard all about it three times!"_

_This time my father was the one who blushed a deep red that flooded to his ears as well. "A-anyway, The Great Dog Demon came to see us in a few days, his silver haired son in his arms, positively beaming with pride. The child was so quiet that we feared that my friend's recklessness had finally harmed someone at last but as it turned out, Sesshomaru was just a quiet baby. That's the boy's name by the way, Sesshomaru." I nodded energetically, listening closely to every single word with wide eyes, absolutely fascinated._

"_That night," Father continued, "I jokingly commented that the two of you being born on the same night could be a sign, telling us that you two were fated to be together. He took me seriously so, before the night's end, it was decided that the two of you were engaged."_

"_But those two are fools, Hotaru, so you don't have to marry him if you don't want to. Here you go, It's all patched up." She handed me the mended kimono and I grinned from ear to ear._

"_Thank you!" I hugged her, happy to have the kimono she made for my last birthday back but also wondering what he was like. That was on my mind all day, even as I tried to sleep._

_Even if I wasn't going to marry him, having barely any interest in boys, I was glad to have a new friend. I was even happier to be meeting my new friend on our shared birthday._

The pain wasn't as intense anymore. I felt my body relax slightly and somehow I knew that if I opened my eyes, he would be trying to hide the rare, small smile on his face.

_He was much more gorgeous than I had expected. I felt like a mess under his gaze and I tried to, for the third time that morning, get the grass out of my shoulder length black hair. My kimono was already wrinkled from running and playing all morning, and I was sure I had mud on my hot face._

_His father hugged me, telling me I looked like a smaller version of my mother. I couldn't see, pressed against this man's wide and muscular chest but I swear I heard the boy laughing softly at my discomfort. I wasn't used to being around others since all other fox demon children avoided me out of fear so his embrace caught me off guard._

_He finally let me go after what felt like five or so minutes and I realized that my fox ears had emerged, like they always did when I was feeling strong emotions or, in this case, discomfort. Like I was under attack, the hairs on the back of my neck rose and my body tensed up, ready for an attack I could counter._

_My father's friend found that hilarious, not to mention adorable, and tried to pat my head. I was ready though and ducked. He stared at me in a little bit of confusion for just a moment and gave me the opportunity I'd been waiting for. I leapt up as high as I could and bit his hand when it was in biting range. He yelped in surprise but I held on, my feet dangling in the air when he raised his hand._

_Through my attack mode rage, I caught a glimpse of Sesshomaru's face. Priceless! His shocked expression was just as funny as it was beautiful. He wasn't sure what to make out of me, the fox girl who bit his father, a dog demon so powerful that even his closest servants know him only by title._

_Just as I was thinking that his hand tasted a little odd, my mother shrieked, "You're bleeding!" Together, my parents wrestled me off of the large, silver-haired man's hand. By the time they had gotten him free, Sesshomaru had finally decided what I was: amusing and stupidly defensive. His gaze seemed to be easier to deal with after that._

I heard myself laugh weakly as a hand touched my head, gently stroking my hair. He wasn't holding my hand anymore but somehow the way he touched my hair made me feel better. It even made me a little happy.

_Our first kiss was at my special spot, the place I was born, fireflies dancing around us. We had been talking, well I had, and suddenly our lips were touching, softly but the kiss lasted several moments. That was when I knew for sure, crying without realizing it._

_The question had run through my head a number of times before: What exactly was the word for these feelings I felt for only him?_

_Finally, I had an answer. Love. I loved Sesshomaru and had for a long time...From the look in his eyes, he was thinking something along the same lines. I kissed him again, on tiptoe, a little afraid that he would push me away but my kiss was returned instead._

_There was no stopping the tears of happiness that rolled down my cheeks that day. After so long and so many stories, I'd found the thing of children's tales: true love._

The searing pain had almost completely subsided when the most beautiful memory of all flashed across my mind. I knew I was smiling and if I could see him through closed eyes he would looking at me like he did back then, with eyes full of warmth that he wouldn't let show on the rest of his face.

_My mother made me a beautiful white and silver kimono for me to wear for my wedding and my father did my hair in a long braid with light pink, white, and sky blue flowers woven through my hair. I pushed the braid over my shoulder so it stayed off my neck and the flowers stood out against the lovely cloth. Uncle made me a flower crown made of ribbons that shone like spider silk and flowers just like the ones in my hair. The ribbons were tied into a bow on the side and the entire outfit seemed to glow. Mom painted my lips a very light red and gave me a shining smile._

"_You look gorgeous, Hotaru. Sesshomaru's a very lucky man. I hope he knows that very few men will ever have a bride as lovely as you." My face was hot and only got warmer when I saw him waiting for me, more handsome than ever._

_That day, our wedding day, was the best day of my life._

I opened my eyes, my whole body relaxing when light golden eyes met my own blue. My smile grew wider and wider as a sense of safety and security came over me. I knew I was going to be alright because Sesshomaru, my Sesshomaru, was watching over me now.

I knew that nothing was going to happen to me now that I was here with the man I loved.

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**I own nothing besides OCs. The next chapter should be up pretty soon too. Sorry for OOCness. Thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Kay, so before you read this, I want you to understand this: I wrote this after drinking so much coffee it gave me a terrible headache so don't expect it to be all that great. **

**And about what happens in this chapter, well,put yourself in her place. She had a past that was a complete blank in her mind. Even so, she built a new life and became a totally new person. Then she comes here and suddenly, that past comes back to her. The flashbacks were vivid enough to make it seem real, like she was back there again seeing her mother getting killed. She's a mess so naturally, she's going to have a freak out over her identity. I know she seems like a whiny little girl but it's just hard on her with all of this going on around her. And Sesshomaru will be out of character but it's what I thought was just how he should be.**

**Well, sorry this is so long. I'll stop bugging you with this. I own nothing and hope you enjoy it even a little. The next chapter will be better.**

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Slowly sitting up, I studied his face. The marks I drew on his face had become purple scars on his cheeks, like claw marks and he looked a little older, but then so did I. But his eyes...

"You're so much older than I remember...Has it really been that long?" His hand touched my face and he nodded instead of saying anything. He looked a little...hurt.

I leaned forward a little to examine his face a little closer. He looked amazing, despite the lack of a smile or frown on his face. His expression was blank but I knew that his feelings could be easily seen in his eyes if you knew how to read them.

_Why does he look so hurt? I remembered, right? _Just as the question popped into my mind, I felt a little sick inside._ Maybe it's because you're not the girl he loved anymore. Remember that? Hotaru doesn't exist anymore! You're Megumi! _Feeling pathetic, I started to cry again but didn't look away from his eyes. _There's no place for you here! You can't be with him and I bet he knows it!_

"Maybe...Mom was right. I couldn't see you anymore." I said though he probably wouldn't understand. "After all, I wasn't meant to come here. It wasn't fate or anything like that. I just got nosy and followed someone here. I really...don't belong anywhere now." I wasn't quite sure why I was saying all of this.

"I can't be Hotaru anymore. I already let her die when I forgot about even the most important things. I became Megumi from what was left. That's probably why I've never properly liked anyone. My feelings for you still remained in some way but I was different, a different person altogether. I stopped being the girl who could freely love you a long time ago and now that she's come back, Megumi is gone. They pretty much wipe each other out, you see."

I was pretty much rambling at this point. My tears wouldn't stop and his face was just as blank as ever. "I can't be either now. I can't fit into either world now...And I can't love you." Saying that made my chest hurt. "Hotaru was the only one you'd allow to feel that way. Other girls were just annoying, pests even. If I loved you, you'd just hate me cause I've changed..."

"Hotar-" I put a hand over his mouth to stop him from saying that name but the hand he had held against my face gripped my wrist. He seemed to be careful not to hurt me when he pulled my hand away from his lips. "I waited."

He stared at me for a few moments before he spoke again. "I waited for you. I knew you would change." Somehow I felt like I could hear the words he didn't say. _So have I, _I heard him say without words."You're still you." _You're still the girl I waited for._

"How are you so sure?" I muttered, feeling like I might've seriously overreacted.

"I still love you." My eyes widened and his blank face seemed to change for just a moment. He was embarrassed to say that aloud but he still did..._even though he's a proud guy_. I felt my own face heat up from his words.

"W-what if I've changed so much that you stop even caring for me in the slightest?"

"You haven't. You still worry too much about situations that have simple solutions."

"What do you mean by that?!" I felt a little annoyed with him since I was actually worried about all of this though he didn't seem all that bothered. But before he replied, he did something that made me to flustered to even look him in the eyes.

He kissed me, softly. As Megumi, it would've been my first kiss which made me even more embarrassed. "You don't have to be either. They're both you." _So be you._

"T-then does that mean that I can be Hotaru without discarding Megumi?" He kissed me again and I thought I was going to faint. Just as I was about to apologize for all of this and have a good, long overdue chat with him, we were interrupted.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I set up the camp site!" The shorter of the two squawked. His appearance startled me at first but I reminded myself that he was just a normal demon, like Sesshomaru and I, though much less powerful going by his appearance.

See, when I remembered those memories, everything about Hotaru just sorta appeared in my mind. Everything I thought back then, everything I ever knew, and everything I ever felt came back to me too. In all of that, there was a lesson my dad taught me a long time ago.

Some demons are true to their forms. In some cases It's because they've never really learned to take any other form or because they can't pass as anything else. Most people don't really realize this but being able to take human form is a mark of power for a demon. You can train and train but if a demon is powerful enough to hide their form, chances are that they were born that powerful and had more trouble controlling their true form.

Sesshomaru and I were two such demons. Born powerful, looking like humans, we both had trouble with our true forms and transforming. We both had a habit of slipping up and transforming when our emotions ran a little too strong. We were lucky since we didn't have to grow up before we could properly control the power we were born with. Some young demons thought they were useless or total weaklings until they grew old enough to control it.

Anyway, the imp-like demon looked at us with natural unnaturally wide eyes. He was tiny, smaller than the girl I saw before who stood next to him. In his hands was a tall staff with two heads. One of the carved wooden heads was of an elderly man with a painted long white beard. The other was a young woman with long dark hair and both had closed eyes.

The creepiness of the faces made me shiver. I hated those sort of things, like puppets and dolls. The horror stories about dolls always made me scared, no matter how silly they were.

"I got flowers for the pretty lady!" The small, lovely child grinned, walking over and handing them to me cheerfully.

"Thank you..." I muttered, a little embarrassed. "Wait, what'd you call me?!" I smiled widely. "You think I'm pretty?!"

She nodded. "Yup! Really pretty!" I pretty much tackled her with a hug. _How cute! _I thought as I hugged her.

"Sesshomaru, I like this little human!" I exclaimed as I let her go. "I really like her!" I heard Sesshomaru sigh and somehow I knew what he wanted to say. _And you said you changed?_

That's when the thought came to my mind, filling me with happiness. _Maybe I haven't changed too much after all. Maybe I really am still Hotaru and Megumi was just another name for her. After all, I have everything that made the two of them who they were._

"Hey, Sesshomaru." I whispered as we walked to the camping ground, "Sorry for freaking out earlier. I was trying to process too much at one time and I couldn't keep my head straight."

He glanced at me from the corner of his eye and I smiled comfortingly.

"I'm okay now." I told him, knowing he was worried deep down inside. "I really am. So don't worry."

I meant it but a part of me still wondered why he looked so hurt before. It was clear when I looked into his eyes but I couldn't help but wonder why.


	6. Chapter 6

**Not very good this time either. I've started becoming a bit obsessed with some original fiction idea that I want to post on here so I'm busy writing those out too. I hope you enjoy this chapter anyway.**

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The imp demon's name was Jaken and the girl's name was Rin. They soon learned that I was quite a hyper person who liked to ask questions. I was more comfortable around people than I was before so I didn't cause any injuries.

"Hey, Jaken, what is that staff anyway?" I watched the heads, wondering if they might open their eyes.

"It's the Staff Of Two Heads." The silver haired dog demon sitting left of me answered.

"Yeah, I got that bit on my own." I couldn't help but laugh.

"One head breathes fire! " Rin informed me. "The old man head breathes fire and the lady's head...Jaken, what does that one do?"

We talked for a while until night fell. One thing that didn't seem to change is my love of the dark. I was, well, I am what you could call a night owl. If I can be called hyper in the daytime, then I'm positively insane at night, unable to sit still. I just can't help but run around and stuff when it got dark outside.

That always bugged Sesshomaru, especially in the winter when it got cold enough to snow. I love snow! I didn't like it for a long time because it was snowing the night my mother was killed but I grew fond of it. You see, it reminds me of him. His silver hair, his light footsteps, and the way he makes even the worst of places and times seem beautiful to me...He's just like snow that way. I love it!

He would always tell me to come back and sleep. He would get even more annoyed when I dragged him out with me in the middle of the night to watch for flurries. He doesn't like the cold because he usually takes human form where he doesn't exactly have his fluffy fur coat to keep him warm.

But even with his constant complaints, he would stay and watch the sky with me, stargazing too. When I'd shiver, he'd pull me close and his body heat would warm me right up. Sometimes he would even hold my hands to keep them warm. A few times I actually caught him nodding off, resting his head on top of mine, and he'd sleep standing up with me in his arms.

"Hey, my love." I would say and kiss the back of his hands when he woke up. He'd hold me tighter, burying his face in my hair and I would whisper, "Let's get back home, Sessh." That was my pet name for him. He didn't like it but when he was sleepy, he'd let me get away with it.

That night however, when I came back home and was camping out with those three, I felt the urge to climb trees. It took me a while to find the tree I wanted. I could easily hop branches but what I wanted was a challenge.

I chose a tall, old and strong tree. It had thick branches that I could rest on when I reached the top so I could look down at the world. The bark was hard and rough and my hands and I took off my boots when I reached the first branch. It was hard to get a good grip with them on. They made a loud thudding noise when they fell which made me a little scared since Sesshomaru was actually a pretty light sleeper.

I let out a light sigh of relief when he continued to snooze, his sleeping face absolutely adorable. He had his back to a tree, his sword at his side. Jaken and Rin were also sound asleep since I insisted on taking watch. Jaken, of course, had objections but Sesshomaru made him shut up by just looking at him.

Certain I hadn't woken anyone, I continued to climb up, little bits of bark getting under my fingernails. I knew that would bug me later but I was having so much fun! When I reached the high up branch I'd had my eye on, I relaxed with my back to the trunk and looked down at the rest of the forest. "Amazing..." I whispered.

I could see the way some branches on weaker trees would sway and dance with the very light wind. I could almost see the ripples on the closest, but still pretty distant, ponds as fallen leaves and wind skimmed the surface of the water. From up here, I could really appreciate the loveliness of my childhood home.

A certain pond caught my eye though, lights floating just above the water and in between the lower tree branches. Somehow, right away, I knew what pond it was. I knew who watched over this forest, if he somehow survived that attack. And I knew just where I wanted to go next, where I needed to go.

But I needed to wait for the others to wake up before we could go. I scrambled down the tree so I could talk to them as soon as they woke up. I'd grabbed my boots on my way back to the campsite but didn't put them on.

My socks got caught on twigs, getting a little torn up, and dirty. They were just black socks I got at a dollar store so I wasn't all that upset over it. When I got to where my three companions were resting, I pulled them off and slipped my long boots on.

Looking for a way to keep myself busy until they woke up, I started to dust off my long sweatshirt which was so baggy it could almost look like a very short dress. When it was as clean as I could get it, I moved on to doing the same to my black pants, folding up the bottoms so that they'd be even.

When I was trying to adjust my hat, before remembering that I lost it, I found that my fox ears had vanished, which not only shocked but scared me. I was so used to them being there that it felt like I was missing a very important part of me...

_But that's nothing compared to how Sesshomaru must feel_, I thought,_ missing his arm. I'm only missing a second pair of ears but he's missing a freaking limb..._

I hadn't mentioned it earlier but I certainly noticed. I noticed how his sleeve fluttered like a leaf in the wind, empty. I noticed how he only used his right hand for everything though as a kid, he was left handed.

I wanted to ask what happened but it was probably painful so I didn't want to bring it up. But when Sesshomaru began to wake up though it was far from morning, I had something just as important to ask.

"Sessh, just tell me yes or no. Did my..." I froze, trying how best to ask as he started to wake up a bit more. As he stared at me, still drowsy, I whispered, "That night, when my mother died... Did my dad survive? Is he still alive? Were you... On your way to see him?"

"Yes."


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry this is late. Life dragged me all over the place lately. I'm still trying to get wok done on these but between learning to drive, working on my books, managing my depression issues, figuring my life out, getting over writer's block, and everyday stuff like chores and dishes, I keep finding myself falling into pieces before I manage to get to my computer to work cause hiding big issues and an unwillingness to be alive from your family is pretty tiring. I'm working on another chapter (originally planned for a double update but nevermind that; the next one's going to take even longer) and it'll talk about the years before everything happened and maybe how Hotaru and Sesshomaru ended up together. Sorry for any issues; this, like a lot of my stuff, wasn't thoroughly edited before posting. I only own my OCs. Thanks to any of you who still bother to read this.**

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I remember my father. My biological father anyway…It's odd to think I have two dads who've never met. I remember his big grin, his cheery laugh, and his big hands. It always seemed like he could hold the world in those hands. I suppose that's because he was so strong in my eyes. A peaceful goofball...but still the second strongest man I'd ever known. (Sorry, Sessh, you're only the third.) Nothing could beat him down! At least, not when he was protecting those he loved. That night he faced a whole army of demons and humans and he lived! He was always protecting us…

I guess that's why…He had nobody left to protect. His best friend and the love of his life were both dead. His only daughter was living in a different era; he expected to never see her again. Sesshomaru was the closest he had to family now. I love that man but considering he is, I was not at all surprised that my father felt all alone.

However, I was surprised by how frail he looked. His face was pale; the phrase "white as a sheet" immediately came to mind. His eyes weren't as full of life as I remember them being. It was as though the fire in him had dwindled down to mere embers. My heart broke to see him that way, so detached from the world, and I had to bite down hard on my bottom lip to stop myself from shouting. I didn't want our reunion to be ruined because I couldn't handle seeing what the world had done to him.

"Father." I said softly as I approached him. Sesshomaru followed closely behind, unfazed by my father's sad state. Had he been like this since I went away? "Father, it's me, Hotaru…" I touched his shoulder gently. He finally looked at me, his mouth hanging open as though he just couldn't believe what he was seeing. I'm not ashamed to say that I broke down in tears.

For a moment, I was scared he didn't recognize me. I knew I had a striking resemblance to my mother; did he think I was her instead? But then he said my name. He hugged me tightly. He patted my head like he used to when I was a child. Then I knew for sure that this was my father, my real father, and that he knew me after all. "Hotaru, my daughter…" He kept mumbling through sobs, "My daughter's come home."

"I'm home, Father." I whispered as I cried. "I'm home." And I meant it. This was my home; this forest was my kingdom. Memories of happy days I spent with my odd family—a celestial maiden, a strong fox demon, and their daughter sharing their dinner and fire with dog demons who would otherwise be an enemy—flashed through my mind. Though there was joy there was also blood. There were many who wanted my father's forest. They wanted to take our haven, the one place everyone—prey and predators alike—could find refuge away from us.

My father was the noble fox demon who protected this land from brutish humans who wished to claim it as their own domain. They would rip the trees from the ground to fuel their fires and build their homes, kill the wildlife and demons to sate their appetite for meat, entertainment, and bloodshed. My father, my mother, and Sesshomaru's father taught me about humans, taught me how their minds and souls could so easily be corrupted by hate and greed. I was naturally disgusted by them, hated them just as Sesshomaru did, but they taught me yet another lesson that my mate would never stop to listen to.

We're not so different. I was lucky to live in such a beautiful place where all people got along, but this sort of environment is rare. Peace is a treasure, not to be taken for granted. Demons are prone to the same sins as humans. Pride causes even the greatest demons to fall, greed creates wars among our kind, and a lust for power will lead us all to our doom despite our species. "If you chase power for power's sake, you'll simply become addicted." My father's best friend calmly told me one day, teaching me even as I braided his hair, sticking flowers trough every gap. "That's why I'm entrusting my son to you, Hotaru. I know that you, your parents' child, will be able to save him. You're the type of person who'll seek power for someone else. You'll only want power to protect those you love."

"You talk about me like I'll be strong someday…" I replied with childish annoyance. "But all the girls I've met say the same thing. Men like protecting rather than being protected. That's why…I'll be a woman he can protect. Even if it feels like a lie sometimes, I'd rather be loved by him than honest." He laughed and turned to pat me on the head.

"My son is lucky to have such a cute girl pining after him." I smiled happily, my face warm. I never tried to hide my great affection for my friend. I knew he'd never notice if I tried to be subtle so why bother? "But you don't always have to try so hard to be cute for him. You'll understand one day; one day you'll see that he'll care for you even I you're a bit tougher than him. I think he's noticed by now anyway; there's no way that such an intelligent boy thinks that you put up with his bullying through pure tenacity alone."

"I don't want him to say that the others say though…" I grumbled. "I'm not a monster just because I can take a hit. I know I don't have the best control of my magic or my strength, but I don't wanna be called scary for it."

He laughed again. "They're just jealous. Besides, what do they expect from one of my top students?" He pinched my cheek teasingly. "You'll be part of my family one day; it's only natural that you're strong! Don't worry, I'll keep your secret from Sesshomaru. How could I go against a girl in love?"

He protected us. He taught us to fight when it became apparent that the attacks were never going to stop. He taught me separately, knowing that there would come a time when I needed to fight as well. He taught us about the world since we could never leave this forest. He welcomed me into his family in the same place where I first spilled human blood.

When I was young, I cowered in fear while I listened to the bodies fall. Sesshomaru, just a young as I was, looked at me with annoyance as I clung to him, nauseous. As a young woman, I was trained with spears and swords, fire and illusions…but the smell of blood and death was too strong for me. I hid away as the battle raged on around me, sickened by my own cowardice. During one battle, I felt something inside snap. How dare they intrude of my home! How dare they try to destroy what we had!

_That's right._ I reminded myself as I pulled my father close. _This is my home, the place I've killed over. _My father was only a shell of a man now, only able to fight. The fighting was all he had left. "I'm here now so you don't have to fight anymore, Father."

Is this what he'd meant that day when he told me not to hate myself for what I'd done? "I know it's hard, my future daughter, but you need to forgive yourself for this." He wiped the blood off my face. "Sometimes we have to fight to live. More importantly, we must fight to keep those we love alive. For protecting her, the woman I love, I will forever be indebted to you. Do not be ashamed of your strength; you'll need it someday. You'll need to have the power to risk even your life to protect what's precious to you."

"I'll protect you so you don't have to fight again." I told the frail man I held so close to me. Sesshomaru just watched, unaware of my promise. "I'll protect everyone I hold dear this time." I was not going to let that night repeat itself again.


End file.
